Okay so we all know nuclear war is pretty weak sauce, but to me it’s a very abstract concept. This isn’t the 60’s and there isn’t an imminent treat of Russian ICBMs crashing down on little girls. But there are still thousands upon thousands of these things scattered around the world, and nobody really seems to care any more. I have rarely heard an argument in the mainstream media for ending, limiting, or even reducing nuclear stockpiles in the US. I think the reason that our own magnificent collection of giant, world-ending phalli have slipped off public radar is that no one remembers how horrible they are.

When discussing atomic weaponry, the blast tends to steal the show. It’s big and loud and colorful and just captivates your attention with its awesome destructive power. But the really nasty part about nuclear war is the radiation. Truth be told, if an A-bomb goes off in your city you want to die in the blast. If you don’t, you’re likely to have skin burned off by radiation. And if you’re unlucky enough to survive the burns, you’ll get to wander around for 1-2 weeks as a walking ghost while you wait for irreparably damaged cells overwhelm you with agonizing pain until you die. And you WILL die.

Unless you don’t…if you survive the blast and your dose of radiation isn’t sufficient to completely kill you, you’ll have the privilege of wandering around for a dozen or so years, carrying the memories of the torturous deaths of your friends and family until you succumb to any number of rare and incurable cancers.

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