Apparently, we Okies have some unique phraseology. Here are some of my favorite expressions, most courtesy of my dad. I haven’t heard them used on the West Coast, but that might be because the only people I know on the West Coast are under 50.

  • “Dumber than a screen door on a submarine.”
  • “Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining.”
  •  “Bigger than Dallas” (for anything either large or anything surprising)
  • “Go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.”  (Credit to Kurt Vonnegu, Jr., I believe)
  • Thieving politicians are “egg-sucking dogs”
  • “Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick” (for anything that sucks)
  • “Trust him as far as you can throw him.”  (This one may be common?)

There are a bunch more. I’ll add ’em when I think of ’em.