I hate the first work out after a long absence. It’s almost invariably humiliating. Your knees ache after 10 minutes, you’re short of breath, your muscles are cramping, and you’ve only stayed away from the gym for three weeks.

I hate it so much that it actually keeps me from going in the first place. I’ll be trying to find my shoes when I think, oh man, it’s gonna hurt. So I put it off for another week, then another. And then when I finally go, I hurt extra. I can totally see how people end up getting really fat in their forties.